Devoted

Changes

2011-07-27T07:03:00.000-05:00

I'm in the process of combining my two blogs. I need to simplify and limit my time on my computer. I plan to combine this blog with Mother of Seven. The devotions that I usually publish here I'll be publishing on Thursdays, Lord willing, on Mother of Seven. So to all my loyal readers, please come over to Mother of Seven and begin following. I appreciate each of you. Your encouragement through your comments means a lot. Thank you for sticking with me as I work to find what works best for my family and blogging. God Bless!

New Devotional Blog

2011-07-18T06:00:00.001-05:00

My love for writing I inherited from my dad. Whenever I wrote papers in high school, I always wanted my dad's opinion. If he liked it, then I knew I did well. My dad is now retired and has started his own blog. My dad has a wealth of wisdom to share. I encourage you to take a visit to his blog, and add it to your reading list. You will be challenged to grow in your spiritual journey.

Reflections on the Life of King David

Letting go of the Reigns

2011-07-06T06:00:00.032-05:00

We have a budding teenager in our home. Although we've experienced this before with our oldest two, this one has presented new challenges. Lots of times I simply don't know how to handle situations. It seems I always say the wrong things. My husband and I have discussed the matter over and over. I usually end up getting upset. Finally, I told him, "I don't know what to do. I need you to figure it out. I need you to handle it. I need you to be the one who handles discipline issues when they come up."

So that is what my wonderful husband has been doing. He has ordered some books on parenting teens. He has been brainstorming ideas for how our young man can gain more freedom and privileges by being responsible. He has taken over handling the correction.

I should be happy. Instead, I'm frustrated. When my husband discusses his ideas with me, I want to argue and disagree with him. Frankly, I'm having a hard time letting him be in control. I finally realized the problem a couple days ago. I have run the parenting decisions in our family for a long time. Now I find it is difficult for me to submit to his headship in this area.

Don't get me wrong, I hadn't willfully taken the parenting decisions from him in the past. Many things we decided together. It's just that I'm here 24 hours a day and naturally have dealt with the parenting issues on my own much of the time. My husband even had specifically asked me not to leave all the discipline issues for him when he came home. I learned to deal with problems and find solutions. He entrusted this job to me. The problem is now I need his help and his leadership, and I'm having a hard time submitting when he makes decisions. I want to think my way is better (even though it wasn't working).

My husband fulfilling his God-given role to teach his children.

Seeking the Lord in prayer has helped. Realizing that if I'm not in submission to my husband, then I'm not in submission to God is humbling. I've had to bite my tongue. I've said things in response to my husband and had to apologize. I'm so grateful for an understanding husband who is patient with me. And I'm thankful for my merciful heavenly Father who is faithful as I struggle to become more of who he wants me to be.

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."

Praying for God to continue to mold me and grant me a spirit of submission.

Linking up with:

Treasure Within

2011-07-01T06:00:00.002-05:00

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." II Cor. 4:7

Alone -
I am nothing.
Just an earthen vessel,
Humble and
Lowly.

God saw fit
To put within
A treasure.

Christ in me -
A light to the world,
Strength for the day,
Hope for tomorrow.

No longer alone.

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." II Cor. 4:8,9

Linking to

Building Up

2011-06-29T06:00:00.023-05:00

Words are powerful. They shape lives. Most people can think back to words that were spoken to them as children and recall the impact they had on their lives.

When I was in elementary school I was told that I had my daddy's nose. Now that isn't a bad thing for anyone to say, but from that day until I was well into my 20's I was self-conscious about my nose. I thought it was too big. Through my childish eyes, I looked at my dad's nose and thought it was quite large. I interpreted the remark that was made to mean that I had a large nose. All that was meant by the comment was that my nose was shaped like my dad's. I look back now and laugh about it, but those simple harmless words formed part of my self-image.

As a teenager I visited two elderly neighbor ladies. These two ladies loved to have me visit them. I remember showing them my artwork. You would have thought I was a budding Rembrandt. I would share with them some of my writing, and I felt like I might be the next Louisa May Alcott. Craft projects were of special interest to them as they taught me a lot of what I knew. They made me feel talented and intelligent. It was their words that made the difference. They encouraged me. They made me feel like I could do anything.

Buelah, one of the sweet neighbor ladies who encouraged me.
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29 NIV

The power of a positive word is a resource that I need to tap into. As a mother I get focused on all the little corrections that my children need. I forget to encourage, to uplift, and to speak those words of love they need to hear.

Regretfully at times I've spoken words that were not wholesome. Sometimes I've demeaned my children. Feelings of regret washed over me almost immediately and I apologized, but the words can't be taken back. I've prayed God would erase those times from their memories, or he would at least help them understand their mom is human and messes up.

Reflecting on the impact of words on my life has made me more determined to clean up my speech. I may not use bad language or tell dirty jokes, but my words are not always beneficial to the listener.

"Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips." Psalms 141:3 NIV

May my words build up those who hear them. Amen.

Another good verse on this subject that was passed on by one of my readers is Proverbs 15:23.

"A man finds joy in giving an apt reply -- and how good is a timely word!"

Linking up with Good Morning Girls.

The House

2011-06-24T06:00:00.004-05:00

This is a poem I wrote one day several years ago when I still had toddlers. I had been on a walk and as I walked up the drive and entered our house these words came to me.

The house stands tall.
Its roof peak points to the heavens.
Its majestic form seems to speak of treasure within.

I’m drawn up the long drive by an irresistible force.
There’s a hand print on the door.
The imprint of a face pressed to glass beckons me inside.
As I open the door a smudge of dirt left by a shoe points the way.

At first glance elegance meets the eye.
Rich woodwork,
delicate stained glass,
a sparkling chandelier
all boast of glorious days from years long past.

But it’s the common things that hold my gaze.
Mirrors smudged by dirty fingers.
Carpet worn by small feet.
Floors scratched by toys.
Walls made dingy by little hands.

The house comes to life for me.
Laughter fills the rooms.
The trample of feet resound through the hall.
Blocks crash to the floor.

I can almost feel young arms wrapped around me,
A soft face pressed to my cheek,
Warm hands grasping mine,
A wet kiss planted on my face.

My heart is full.
Treasure indeed fills this house.
There’s no one richer than I.
God has blessed me with family that has made this house my home.

Prayer for Joplin

2011-06-21T14:38:00.000-05:00

These words were not the devotion I intended to write from this passage today. In the early morning hours as I contemplated Ephesians 3:13-21 the weight of the tragedy in Joplin tugged at my heart. So I've written my devotion as a prayer for our friends in Joplin. May God, the Great Physician, hear and bring healing.

Postcard of the Praying Hands in neighboring city of Joplin where we lived fifteen years ago.

Sometimes the burdens of life feel heavy. Impossible situations loom and threaten to crush our very being. Illness, death, natural disasters, broken relationships, disputes, and troubles of this world surround us. No escape seems possible. Discouragement invades our souls.

"I ask you, therefore, not to be discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory." (Eph. 3:13)

No place to turn. That is no one to turn to except God. Our own human resources have come to an end.

"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name." (Eph. 3:14,15)

Remembering our Maker. The Mighty One who creates by breathing a word. The Almighty who has more power in his little finger then all the natural disasters that leave us helpless. The Holy One whose plans our finite minds cannot comprehend. How can we not kneel? Being in the presence of our awesome God brings us to our knees. It is our Savior we approach.

"In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence." (Eph. 3;12)

How to pray? What to pray? Sometimes words escape us. God through his Holy Word and the inspired writers grants the prayer.

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge -- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." (Eph. 3:16-19)

God hears. He heard Elijah on Mt. Carmel, and he sent fire from heaven. He heard King Hezekiah when the invincible Assyrian army surrounded the city, and the angel of the Lord put to death 185,000 men in the Assyrian camp. He heard Elisha when the Arameans surrounded Dothan, and he opened Elisha's servant's eyes to see the hills full of the Lord's horses and chariots of fire. He heard the Christians praying for Peter's deliverance from prison in the book of Acts, and he unlocked the prison doors so Peter could walk out. Yes, God hears.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." (Eph. 3:20,21)

Treasures in Heaven

2011-06-17T06:00:00.005-05:00

A favorite blog of mine is At the Well. Last week I read a post for mothers that challenged me. I thought I would share it here for my Friday inspiration.

"There are dirty little plastic dishes in my sink.

There are piles of half-folded laundry in my living room, and crumbs in my carpet, and broken crayons under my table.

There are stuffed animals, and mismatched socks, and little girl barrettes, and board books under my bed.

Some people’s baker’s racks are neatly adorned with hand-painted tea cups. Mine is piled high with children’s pencil drawings and water color creations on construction paper.

My office is filled with books I’ve been meaning to read and books I’ve been meaning to sell and papers I need to file and papers I need to throw away.

It’s after bedtime, but my washing machine is still busily agitating, in hopes that I might have clean diapers in the morning.

At least the wooden train set made it into it’s box–no one likes that kind of middle-of-the-night surprise on the bottom of their bare foot.

Yes. My house is filled with stuff. Messes. Clutter. Dare I say, chaos. Some days, I get the best of it. Most days, it gets the best of me."

Read the rest of the article at Treasures in Heaven.

Serving your way to their hearts

2011-06-10T06:00:00.008-05:00

In my early years of motherhood, I read some books that revolutionized my way of thinking about rearing children. The author was Sally Clarkson. She now has a blog that I follow entitled I Take Joy. Recently she posted the following article. I thought I would share it as our Friday inspiration.

May you be challenged and blessed as you read
Serving your way to their hearts.

He's a Mountain Mover

2011-06-03T20:29:00.001-05:00

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1

My husband and I spent eight years in the Joplin area. We attended Ozark Christian College and then held a ministry in Webb City, a city adjacent to Joplin. The devastating tornado a couple weeks ago has been emotionally moving for us. We still have many friends in the area, so at first it was the wondering if they were all ok. Then the scope of the devastation began to sink in. It is a long road to recovery ahead for this city which was home and still tugs at our heart strings.

Our church sent a work crew to Joplin today and plans to send another group tomorrow. I wanted to go but was unable due to the number of younger children at home that needed me here. So, I had offered to help by baking food for volunteers. This morning I had a phone call asking if I could send cinnamon rolls tomorrow. I started in at 1:00 p.m. and things were progressing nicely. I had 10 dozen rolls made by 3:30 and had just popped the first two pans in the oven when the electricity went out. I waited five minutes, and it still hadn't come back on. These rolls had to be baked soon or they would collapse. I called LaVada, a lady from our church, whose house is on the hospital line and often has electricity when others do not. She had electricity! So I put the six pans that needed baked first in the trunk of my car and headed to her house. I had to pull two of the pans out of the oven. The dough was light and wobbly. I just knew the rolls were going to collapse, but I had to try to save them.

On the short drive over to her house a Southern Gospel song played in our CD player. The words caught my attention, "He's a mountain mover, He's a sea walker, He's a lily in the desert, He's the rose in the wilderness..." Instantly I prayed, "Lord, this isn't a mountain I'm needing moved. I just need you to hold the cinnamon rolls up so they are not wasted. These are needed for breakfast in Joplin tomorrow. So, please take care of them." I left the six pans with LaVada and hurried back home to finish up another batch of dough I had ready.

My electricity came on about 45 minutes later, and I was able to finish the baking here at home. My wonderful rescuer brought the rest of the rolls back to my house a little later. And, guess what? God took care of those rolls. In fact, they are some of the most beautiful rolls I've ever made.

God specializes in the impossible. Those rolls should have fallen. The day was warm and humid causing them to rise rapidly. The road was bumpy. I've never taken bread out of the oven and been able to put it back in and have it turn out. Even more meaningful is that God took time to care about something so small as 120 cinnamon rolls.

"Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10

Growing Pains

2011-05-31T06:19:00.000-05:00

Blogging is something I started because I love to write. It is also my way of making sense out of life. My husband likes to explain it to my children this way: "All day long you pull crayons out of mom's box and throw them all over. Mom needs time to pick them up, sort them out, and re-arrange them in her box." In my blogging experience, I've been surprised at the number that were truly interested in following along my life's journey as I arrange and re-arrange my crayon box. :0)

In an effort to make my blog a better ministry and more usable for my readers, I decided to get some help. One thing I'm not good at is computers. So, I desperately needed help. I follow Amy over at Raising Arrows and she made a post on Growing a Blog that was helpful. Through her post I discovered Wise Woman Consulting. After consultation, I've found there are many, many things I can do to make my blog better. However, I am slow at this computer stuff and that gets frustrating. With help from my son, Ryan, though, I am figuring it out little by little.

All that to say thank you for your patience as I've been re-working this blog. I've been experiencing some growing pains, but I should be up and running on a more regular basis next week. Here is the schedule of postings that I look forward to sending your way:

On Mondays - Scripture for meditation
On Wednesdays - Devotion based on Scripture for meditation
On Fridays - Inspiration for living (poem, quote, story, etc.)

Homesick

2011-05-20T18:53:00.001-05:00

"But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body." Phil. 3:20-21

I've always struggled with open caskets at funerals. I'm not sure why. They say it is important to view the body in order to have closure. The first funeral I remember going to, I was shaken because for the first time I realized the human body is just a shell. The body without the spirit is dead. The person I knew and loved was no longer there. I did not want to remember them as a lifeless form. I wanted to remember them as a smiling, living, and breathing human soul.

When I was in high school, there were two sweet dear older ladies that I visited weekly. Beulah taught me how to tat and spent hours telling me about growing up back in the early 1900's. I was fascinated by her stories. Ruth liked for me to come down and watch basketball and The Cosby Show with her. She had a fat little dog that she fed chocolate covered cherries, and she would sit and listen to me talk. She thought everything I told her was wonderful. These two sweet ladies both passed away my junior year. I refused to go to either one of their funerals. My family worried about me, but I was fine. I just wanted my last memory of them to be sitting together with them in their living rooms. I wanted to remember Ruth plunking her dog, Sugar, on the floor, straightening his little legs under his rotund body, and pulling him to the door on his leash. I wanted to remember Beulah smiling at me over the top of the doily she was tatting as she talked about the latest quilt they were quilting down at The Gold Dust Hotel. I didn't want to remember a lifeless body in a casket.

On our wedding day Les and I had the privilege of having seven of our grandparents present. We now have only one living grandma. I've watched their bodies grow old. It is difficult to observe the toll that sickness and age takes on a body. The human body is just a temporary home. I'm so grateful that God has a new body awaiting me. Although the human body is indeed a marvel, it is perishable. My new body will be eternal. It will be like Christ's glorious body. In heaven I will no longer have to say goodbye to those I love. There will be no more empty shells to bury in the ground. I'm looking forward to that day.

Guess I'm feeling a little homesick today. Are you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZKXUBomnAg

Who's eyes am I looking through?

2011-04-22T07:13:00.003-05:00

My plan was to sleep in this morning. I woke up at my usual time though. For awhile I tried to go back to sleep, but as my mind began to think through things I knew it would be hopeless. Thoughts about the past in the lives of our children came to mind. I began wondering how God is going to continue to redeem the hurts and sorrows in their lives. (See adoption link if you are interested in more of that story.) A verse that one of my Bible study accountability partners posted yesterday came to mind.

"There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord." Proverbs 21:30

Old Testament Bible stories began tumbling through my mind. Stories about the impossible coming to pass because of God's working. The first story I thought of was during the times of the kings of Israel. Israel was being attacked by the Arameans. God, however, was frustrating the king of Aram by revealing his plans to Elisha who would warn the King of Israel. The king found out it was Elisha who was causing this problem, so he took his army to Dothan where Elisha was staying and surrounded the city. I love Elisha's servants response because it would be my response.

"Oh, my lord, what shall we do?" the servant asked. 2 Kings 6:15

Then Elisha answers with a confidence.

"Don't be afraid. Those who are with us are more than those who are with them." And Elisha prayed, "O Lord, open his eyes so he may see." Then the Lord opened the servants eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. 2 Kings 6:16,17

Finish reading the story, and God miraculously delivers the whole army into Elisha's hands. In our eyes, it was one man against an army. In God's eyes, it was the hosts of heaven against a handful of men.

Then Hezekiah king of Judah comes to mind. King Sennacherib of Assyria surrounded Jerusalem. Hezekiah and the people were subjected to listening to the army commanders taunting them as they laid siege to the city and there seemed no escape. The officer told of all the other cities they had defeated and mocked them for worshiping the Lord their God. (2 Kings 18) Hezekiah did the only thing he could do. He was helpless in his own strength. He went to the temple and laid a letter from messengers from Assyria before God.

"O Lord, God of Israel, enthroned between the cherubim, you alone are God over all the kingdoms of the earth. You have made heaven and earth. Give ear, O Lord, and hear; open your eyes, O Lord, and see; listen to the words Sennacherib has sent to insult the living God." 2 Kings 19:15,16

Did the Lord listen? I would venture to say he did, plus he wasn't real pleased with the taunts from the Assyrians. That night the angel of the Lord put to death 185,000 men in the Assyrian camp. The army withdrew and returned to Ninevah. Impossible situation for man is turned into a victory by God.

Sometimes life's situations can seem overwhelming, but then God reminds me that he is in control. The evil in the world can seem as if it cannot be overcome by the good. But that is looking at things through man's eyes. God is so much bigger. He's more powerful. Looking to this Easter weekend, I'm reminded that we serve a risen Savior. He has the power to overcome death. He has the power to overcome sin in this world. He will redeem all things for his honor and glory in his time.

Thankful for God's gentle reminder to look at things through His eyes and not through mine.

Prayer Journey

2011-03-30T20:45:00.000-05:00

Reflecting on the role of prayer in my journey through life.

Bedtime. Covers tucked round about. Mom listening beside me. Childlike prayers filled with thanks, and simple requests uttered. "God please make my dog, Puddles, get better. Please help me find my lost toy."

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." Mark 10:14

Mealtime. Heads bowed. Words brief and to the point. Hungry stomachs grumbled, chasing away more thoughtful prayers.

"Give us today our daily bread." Mt 6:11

Teen Years. Feeling alone. Wishing for a special someone. Fighting unhappiness. Crying out to God. Finally realizing that He was enough.

"He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken." Psalm 62:2

Graduation. Salutatorian of my class. Terrified. Hated being in front. Tried to get out of the speech. Failed. Trembling. Shaking. "Lord, I cannot do this. I need help. Please get me through." By God's strength alone, speech delivered.

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." Psalm 28:7

College. Where to go? What to do? Needing direction. Seeking guidance.

"Show me your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths." Psalm 25:4

Marriage. Faced with choices. Grateful for my parent's prayers. Daily prayers for their children to find Christian spouses.

"Pray continually." I Thess. 5:17

Decisions. Should we adopt? How do we know it's God's will? Laying out a fleece. Well, actually more like three fleeces.

"Look, I will place a wool fleece on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you said." Judges 6:37

Failures. Pride. Lack of humility. Selfishness. Anger. Bitterness. Hurting. Needing a Savior. Desiring spiritual healing.

"If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:15b-16

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." I John 1:9

Trials. Difficult circumstances. Can we make it through this? By His grace. By His strength. Standing on His Promises. Leaning on the Everlasting Arms.

"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray." James 5:13a

Heart Pain. Hurting inside. Not knowing how to pray. Wanting to do the right thing. Feeling torn and weakened by my own human desires. Kneeling beside my bed. Weeping before the Lord. Begging him to put into words what I cannot.

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." Romans 8:26,27

Sickness. A friend is told, "You have cancer." Prayers sought. Church fasts and prays. Elders are called. Prayers offered. Anointed with oil.

"Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord." James 5:14

Healing. Prayers answered. No cancer to be found. Great rejoicing.

"Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise." James 5:13b

"And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up." James 5:15a

Prayer. Something I understand so little about. Taking this journey through life. Learning more each day.

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him." I John 5:14,15

May I ask in accordance to His will! Amen.

Beautiful

2011-03-22T21:46:00.001-05:00

"You ladies are so beautiful." Just a few simple words, but they meant so much. Most of us sitting around the table weren't beautiful by the world's standards. Wrinkles, age spots, colored or gray hair, a few extra pounds were shared characteristics. But we were beautiful.

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." I Pet. 3:3,4

These words were an honor coming from someone whom I consider one of the most beautiful women I know. The verses from I Peter 3 characterize her life.

Perseverance is motivating. A life well lived is inspiring. Words of encouragement are uplifting.

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Heb. 10:23-25

My spirits were lifted. I floated through my day. I was inspired. I was motivated.

Beautiful!

Is He Jealous for You?

2011-03-15T20:47:00.000-05:00

"Do not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God." Deut. 34:14

Does the way I live my life stir up the jealousy of God?

"You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely?" James 4:4-6

My life should be lived in submission to my Creator. He wants my full love. He desires my complete devotion.

"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you." James 4:7-8a

I want to be near God. It is my heart's desire. I question myself. Have I fully submitted? I think I have. But then this thought comes from within, "Then kneel before Him in prayer." I suppress the thought. It makes me uncomfortable. I want to say little prayers as I go throughout my day. I want to sit in my chair and talk to Him. I want to lie in my bed at night and whisper my concerns to Him. I don't want to kneel. The question nags at me, "If you cannot kneel then are you in full submission?"

"Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom." James 4:8b-9

Why is kneeling uncomfortable for me? The times I have knelt before God it has been out of deep distress. I have been broken. I have wept. I have been vulnerable. I have been aware of my sinful state and God's holiness, righteousness, and power.

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." James 4:10

Pride is my issue. I have a hard time giving up my control. I don't like to come face to face with my failures. However, when I have come before the Father recognizing Him for all that He is, He has brought peace to my soul. The tears have been cleansing. And I have walked away knowing that my heart is solely and completely His.

"Lord, let me not stir your jealousy. May my life be lived in full submission to you in every way. Praising you and thanking you for the many times you lift me up. Amen."

Me, Myself, and I

2011-03-05T19:32:00.000-06:00

When my babies were little, I didn't mind sacrificing for them. It was natural to me, I loved ministering to my little ones. I enjoyed a hot meal, but if my baby needed fed, I'd gladly sit down to nurse them, cuddling their warm soft bodies close even as my food grew cold. In the still of the night when my babies were restless or fussy, I loved rocking them or snuggling them up close in my bed as the darkness enveloped us. Inhaling their sweet baby scent we floated off to a world where it was just us loving each other.

The selfless attitude that came naturally when they were babies, I've found is a struggle now. Perhaps it's because they are more capable of doing things for themselves. Perhaps it is the many demands of seven children. Perhaps it's being asked to love when it is not the natural thing to do. Whatever the reason for the change, God has brought me face to face with my selfishness.

Selfishness is an ugly thing. It rears it's head when I'm fixing supper and a child needs something. I grumpily stop what “I'm” doing to help.

It's almost bedtime. The day has been long. The kids are playing noisily, and I'm irritated. “I” want silence.

The boys have had a blast playing outside. They are filthy. I'm frustrated because it means extra laundry for “me” to do.

My husband comes in and needs to talk about something. “I” am trying to finish a task. I'm short and impatient with him because “I” have things to get done.

The demands of a large household are many. I wonder when I will have time for “myself” again. There are things I would like to do. I have other goals and dreams. Envy of other women who perhaps have careers and free time invades my heart.

“Me, myself, and I” takes over my thoughts. “Selfish Ambition” plants seeds of “envy”. I find discontentment invading my soul. Soon there is no peace in my heart.

“But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such 'wisdom' does not come from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.” James 3 14-18

I cannot live this way. There is no happiness here. Self must be put be put behind. Jesus came to serve. He is my example. He said, “Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mt. 20:26-28

When I serve my family with the right motive, peace fills my soul. It's as if I'm one of his children held close in his arms, and we are content there just loving each other.

Longing to stay in his arms each day through loving service to Him...

Heart of a Child -- by Nancy Wise

2011-02-21T03:00:00.000-06:00

The following post is from my sister, Nancy Wise. She is married to a youth minister and is the mother of two young girls. On top of being a wife, mother, and home educator she is also a nurse. She's three years younger then me. She was born three months premature and weighted only 2 lb. 2 oz. at birth. She is a fighter and survivor. Most of all though she loves her Lord, her husband, and her girls. I'm proud of my sister. Hope you enjoy hearing from her.

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We have never raised our girls with the idea or intent in mind to hurt them. But, today I have realized that if I raise them as I truly believe they ought to be, they are going to hurt. I can't protect them from that. Grayce is learning a tough lesson right now.

For quite some time Grayce has talked of wanting to be a missionary. She works on her Spanish in preparation. She studies her geography and dreams of places she will go. (Mexico and India are the current choices.) In her Bible lessons this year, I have watched her grow as she has learned of the hardships that mission work can bring. She has seen the amazing example of faith that many who have gone before us have left.

Recently she informed me that she needed to "practice for being a missionary some day." So, she decided to ask people she comes in contact with if they believe in God and invite them to church. Then, a few weeks back she told me that one of her friends in gym class doesn't go to church and requested to invite her. I said that was fine and didn't give it much more thought. Later, I found a letter she had started to her friend inviting her to church and telling that she planned to tell her about creation and a man dying for us. She talked about the services and the times. Then she requested that her friend give the letter to her mother. Yesterday she excitedly took her letter to class to deliver.

This morning I had to tell Grayce that her friend would not be allowed to come with her to church. Grayce was heart broke. The tears flowed down her face as she questioned why her friends parents would make such a choice to not believe in God. She said, "I can still pray for her, can't I?" Several hours later she came to me and asked if she could write a letter to her friend's mother asking permission to tell her friend Bible stories. (No one can ever say she isn't persistent.)

In our Bible lesson today we read the parable of a great feast. We were able to talk about how the King continues to keep sending his invitation out. We talked about wearing our wedding garment. I also took the opportunity to discuss how we can be shining examples in all we do.

Today, I saw my daughters heart, her tears. I have to wonder... do I still have that kind of deep sorrow over the souls that are lost around me. I am incredibly thankful for the example and heart of my child.

Valentine's Day Check List

2011-02-14T21:42:00.000-06:00

I was contemplating "love" this Valentine's Day, and decided to look at I Cor. 13 and see how I'm doing.

Love is patient.
When the mud and water was tracked through the kitchen yet again today. I was exasperated that I had to stop what I was doing to call them back to clean up the mess.

Love is kind.
When the crock pot was broken yesterday. I sure had a hard time biting my tongue and saying, "Accidents happen. It's ok."

It does not envy,
When the boys seem to get more attention from their dad then I do.

It does not boast,
When I'm grateful my kid never threw a temper tantrum like that in public, and I feel inclined to let someone know.

It is not proud.
When I realize anything good I've accomplished with my children is only because of God. But sometimes I sure want to take credit for it.

It is not rude,
When the boys make stupid jokes. I sure had a witty but cutting remark to say in return.

It is not self-seeking,
When I would like to stay in bed longer rather then fix a hot breakfast. But the reward was sweet this morning. The kids loved their heart-shaped pancakes, sausage, eggs and fruit. So did my husband.

It is not easily angered,
When the kids go outside in their socks. How many socks do I have to throw away because of misuse? They should have labels on them reading: Not intended as primary foot gear while outdoors. Probably wouldn't make any difference though.

It keeps no record of wrongs.
When I know there are twenty pieces of laundry stashed under the bed again! And we've been through this battle at least forty-two times.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
When I want to tell my husband all the bad things the kids did today. He really should know everything I've put up with.

It always protects,
When I know their hearts are vulnerable and in danger of being hurt.

Always trusts,
When I know God Is in control though the circumstances are certainly out of mine.

Always hopes,
When the world seems an impossible place to raise faithful children.

Always perseveres,
When I want to give up.

Love never fails.
My love does fail, but God's love does not.

I see I have some work to do, but I'm grateful that I serve a God who is all about love. As I John 4:16 says, "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him."

Praying and desiring God's love to become more evident in my life.

Favoritism

2011-02-08T21:15:00.000-06:00

"You love the other kids more then me! Everyone wants to adopt Mikey and Amber but not me!" were the angry words spewing from Troy's mouth. His whole body was tense. He had been hurt in the past, and he was afraid he would be rejected again.

In a quiet voice I patiently said, "I don't expect you to believe me when I say 'I love you.' I'm just asking you to give me time to show you my love." This scenario played out over and over that first year before our adoption was finalized.

Life had hurt our Troy. At just eight years old he unfortunately had been told by other foster families that he was not wanted but that his brother and sister were. He suffered the consequences of adults showing favoritism.

"My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism." James 2:1

In the book of Genesis the story of Joseph also shows the effects of favoritism. Genesis 37:3,4 says, "Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made a richly ornamented robe for him. When his brother saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him." What tragic results for that family.

The reality is that in any family there are some we relate to easier then others. I've had to deal with this issue not only with my biological children, but especially with the children we adopted. Adoption brought a whole new set of genes into our family make-up. There are times we simply do not understand each other. However, I've had to learn to truly love. (And I continue to learn each day.)

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." I Cor. 13:4-8a

God is the ultimate example of one who loves without playing favorites. When we are a part of his family, we are all his children.

"You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Gal. 3:26-28

With God we have no fear of rejection. We have no fear of Him loving someone more than us.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

Words

2011-01-31T22:09:00.000-06:00

Lying awake,
Staring into the darkness,
Wondering...

What pain my words had wrought,
What heart was broken,
What relationship was lost.

Wishing,
Hoping,
Desiring...

To have thought first,
To have spoken less,
To have listened better.

A knot twists my stomach,
My heart hurts,
Knowing...

Words cannot be taken back,
Erased,
Wiped Out.

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." James 1:19,20

Thankful for God's...
Mercy,
Love,
Forgiveness.

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:11,12

Grateful for reconciliation with God.
Praying for reconciliation with my fellow man.

Blessing in Disguise

2011-01-24T15:05:00.000-06:00

Trials are a part of life, but I've found that sometimes what I've considered a trial has turned out to be a blessing.

My husband and I were thrilled with our very first apartment back eighteen years ago. It was perfect for us, and best of all at $225 a month we could afford it. While we were engaged, we had looked at housing and found much of it out of our price range. Many apartments were falling apart, had bugs, or were in bad neighborhoods. It seemed God just placed this apartment in our laps, and it was perfect. Then just one month later, the landlord asked us to move out because he had some personal family issues come up. I was crushed. How could we afford something else? Why did God seemingly supply this place and then take it away?

The church my husband worked at heard of our plight and offered to let us live in the old parsonage. It was a little two bedroom house that had been more recently used as youth classrooms. It was a mess and the decorating dated back to the 70's. As I looked at the Armor of the Lord painted in bold colors on one wall, the big black stain on the carpet, and the gold, orange and green gaudy wallpaper, I wasn't too sure about God's provision. However, with some painting and cleaning it ended up being a cozy little home that perfectly met our needs. It did take me some time to recognize it though.

My husband only worked part-time for the church, and they let us live in the house free of charge. We were both still full-time students in Bible college with little income. Looking back, we realize we would've been hard-pressed to come up with the $225 a month for what we thought was our perfect apartment. The Lord knew better then us. What seemed to be a trial ended up being a blessing.

In reality all trials bring about good if we allow God to work. James tells us in James 1:12, "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." Previously in James 1:4 it says that trials produce perseverance and bring us to maturity. In the midst of trial, I want to learn to anticipate what blessing and character refinement God has in store for me. I can view my "package of trial" in life with joy knowing God is in control, and he even sends blessings in disguise.

Pure Joy

2011-01-10T14:52:00.000-06:00

When I was newly married I remember a rather intense conversation my husband and I had. He suggested that we should perhaps pray for trials so we would grow. I grew angry with him that he would even consider praying such a thing. I told him he couldn't pray that for himself because I was married to him and if God was going to send him trials that would surely involve me. I wanted no part of it.

The ironic thing about it all is that I ended up praying a similar prayer without even realizing it. Back when we had just three children and they were all five and under, I began praying a specific prayer. I begged God to create in me a desire for his Word. I was struggling with even wanting to read the Bible. I was a poor example of a Christian let alone a minister's wife, and I knew it. God answered that prayer, I believe, by making me desperate for Him and His strength. We had an unplanned fourth pregnancy, and our third child had severe food issues which caused us to wonder if he was autistic.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

I found myself in a situation I could not control, but through that experience I learned to rely more on the one who is in control. He created in me a thirst for His Word, the one thing that is sure in a shaky world. Since that time there have been other trials of life which I have seen God use to shape my character and to even show me my sin. Don't get me wrong. I don't like these times. I don't look forward to them. I even resist them. But God is teaching me to embrace them with an different attitude knowing that I'll be a better person for it.

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." I Peter 1:6-7

"And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Rom. 5:2b-5

Friendship

2011-01-04T21:54:00.001-06:00

I've been reading through Paul's letters to the churches and what has stood out to me is his prayers of thankfulness for the believers. In Phil. 1:3 he says, "I thank God every time I remember you." Col. 1:3 says, "We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ when we pray for you,..." I Thess. 1:2 says, "We always thank God for all of you, mentioning you in our prayers."

Over Christmas break, I became aware of how thankful I am for Christian friends and fellow believers. I have had some special times with friends that I will not forget. Each of these occasions involved time spent together whether it was on the phone, out shopping, eating lunch together, or simply praying together. I feel so refreshed today, and I realize much of it is due to the ministry of friendship.

I'm so grateful to God for friends who have encouraged me, who have prayed for me and with me, who have helped me bear my burdens, and who have been willing to speak truth to me. God provided for my need through the friendship of fellow believers.

Sometimes as a stay-at-home mom, I get so wrapped up in the daily grind that I've forgotten to take time for others outside my family. We need our friends. This is just an encouragement for mothers to take time now and then to pick up the phone, or arrange for a day away to just enjoy friendship. It's a gift from God.

"...there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Prov. 18:24

Ornaments on the Tree

2010-12-13T18:54:00.000-06:00

Snowflake I tatted one year.

I went through a time when I felt jealous of those who had beautifully decorated Christmas trees. You know -- those trees that were decorated meticulously, every ornament spaced just so, and the colors all coordinating. The trees were so elegant and beautiful. My little tree couldn't compare. It was just filled with a variety of cheap little ornaments from here and there.

Christmas mouse made by an adopted Grandma.

Those were the first few years my husband and I were married. As time went by, we gradually began collecting ornaments that were given to us by friends and family. This year as I watched the children decorate the tree, I realized just how special it was. The children would exclaim over and and discuss each of the ornaments as they hung them. Such warm memories filled their hearts.

Honduran ornament from Jim & Teri Riley, missionaries.

Birdhouse from Grandma "Vada".

Now our tree is much bigger then the one we started with. It is lovingly filled with ornaments, just as our hearts are filled with the memories connected with each one. I gaze at the decorations and remember the family and friends that make them so meaningful. Suddenly my tree isn't just a bunch of mismatched ornaments. It is a like a beautiful patchwork quilt. Each piece has a memory, and when it is all put together it literally takes your breath away. It shows me how rich I am to have so many friends and family. My life is filled with people who are like ornaments on a tree making it full and beautiful.

Clothespin soldier from Linda Tweedy.

Wooden man made by our oldest son, Ryan.

"I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth." (Psalm 57:9-11 NIV) I can almost hear Cory's little angel singing these words as I reflect upon the ornaments in my life.

Cory's angel from Aunt Jenni.

Putting up the Tree

2010-12-07T20:59:00.001-06:00

I love traditions. That is probably why this time of year is one of my favorites. Our family traditions leading up to Christmas Day start with the setting up of our Christmas tree. The two oldest children drug the big box holding our seven foot after-Christmas bargain down from the attic. After supper we turned on Christmas music and began the assembling process. With seven children helping re-shape the branches, and Dad putting the branches on, it didn't take too long to get the large tree up.

This year the putting on of the lights proved to be the challenge. Two of our three strings were not working. Being of a frugal nature my husband and I began checking each little bulb. I gave up after about twenty minutes, and told my husband we should just go buy new lights. He was convinced that would be too expensive. So, we continued to check each little bulb for the next 30 minutes, but with no success. By this time, the children were all begging to buy the new lights themselves. A quick trip to the store and six dollars later, we at last had our tree lit.

I opened the boxes of decorations and the children quickly began finding their own special ornaments to hang on the tree. Hearing them remember where the ornaments came from touched my heart. "This is the ornament Grandma Vada gave us last year." "This one was from Aunt Jenni." "I made this one at church." In a short time, the tree was beautiful.

Now it was time to celebrate with our traditional eggnog and cookies. We all gathered around our large dining room table sipping slowly and savoring each bite of our cookies.

Then came the best time of all. The younger children slipped into their cozy pajamas. We all gathered in the living room with only the tree lights and a lamp. Snuggling all together, dad began reading our Christmas story. We read the same book every year. We finish the last chapter on the day we open presents.

The book we read is One Wintry Night by Ruth Bell Graham. It recounts the story of mankind from the beginning of time. It shows man's need of a Savior. Then finally the Savior comes. We've been reading this book since 1996 when it was given to us as a present. We like it because it gives the whole story of Christmas.

In Joshua 4 God had the Israelites set up stones on the other side of the Jordan so that "when your children ask you, 'What do these stones mean?' tell them...these stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever." The stones were a reminder of all God had done. Traditions are important. Through traditions we hand down values to our children. If we handle our Christmas traditions properly they too can be memorials. Christmas is the perfect time to help our children remember God, his plan for mankind, and the salvation he sent.

Prayer for the Heart

2010-11-28T16:41:00.001-06:00

I often pray the scripture for my children. This week it has been laid on my heart how vulnerable the heart is. So many things are tugging at our children's hearts demanding their time and attention. As a mother I feel helpless to protect them from so much of the evil in this world. I am doing the only thing I can do. I'm entrusting them to God their Maker who loves and cares for them even more then I do.

Father Above,

I ask your protection for the hearts of my children. Your Word tells us the heart is the well spring of life. (Prov. 4:23) Help my children to guard their hearts diligently so that they may have abundant life.

The world is waging a war for their loyalties. Give them undivided hearts completely devoted to you. (Ps. 86:11) Let them be changed by Christ in them, so they no longer conform to the pattern of this world. (Rom. 12:2)

A man's heart reflects the man. (Pr. 27:19) May their lives reflect obedience to you. (James 1:23-25) In the Bible David was called a man after God's own heart. (I Sam. 13:14) Let them grow up like David to be men and women in love with you and your Word.

May they hide your Word in their hearts that they might not sin against you. (Ps. 139:23) Let the Word penetrate their hearts. Search their hearts and test them. Show them their ways that are offensive to you, and lead them in the path of everlasting life. (Ps. 139:23,24)

Thank you for being their Shepherd, the one who cares for them and guides them through life. (Ps. 23)

Amen.

A Thankful Heart

2010-11-20T21:43:00.001-06:00

As a mother, I'm continually hearing from the children what they want. It seems their birthday is just a few days past, and they are planning what they want to get the next year. It makes me want to scream, "Why can't you just be grateful for the nice gifts you just received rather then wanting something else!"

Amber writes a thank you.

I believed thankfulness needed to be taught. What better time to teach this attitude then at Thanksgiving. This week we invited some adult friends over that are special to our children. The children were all involved in planning a special dinner to honor them.

Alex and Troy scrub sweet potatoes

They made a banner, wrote thank you letters, wrote a song, helped clean the house, and prepared and served the food. The children had a great time planning and preparing, and they came up with good ideas to make our guests feel special. The evening ended up being a memory that they'll remember for a long time.

Michael seasons the turkey

This whole process taught me something too. I learned children need opportunities to express thankfulness. The added bonus was it was a rewarding week. The children and I laughed and talked together. I discovered my children have big hearts full of thankfulness. They just needed some guidance in expressing it.

Cory makes the pie.

High on my list of what I'm thankful for are my beautiful children. Psalm 127:3-5a says, "Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them."

Feeling Grumpy

2010-11-16T20:09:00.000-06:00

This week I'm in my hibernating mood. My great desire is to curl up on my bed with a good book and some dark chocolate. The little things bother me. My temper is short. I just want left alone. What's a mom to do when she feels this way?

My moods are cyclical. However, I have to keep functioning in my role as a wife and mother. God made me this way, yet his Word doesn't seem to allow for me to act badly because that's how I feel. How do I cope? What must I do to manage these emotions?

1. Pray. God promises to supply all I need. He will give me the added strength. Sometimes I forget to ask though. God reminds me that I do not have because I did not ask.

2. Exercise. The last thing I want to do is exercise, but the sunshine and fresh air boosts my mood. It also gives me the little bit of added energy I need to finish the day. I force myself to get out and move.

3. Rest. Sometimes my body and mind just needs a break. Perhaps God uses these few days to remind me to relax. It's time to stop going in circles. I'll have more energy and be ready to tackle life again after a brief time of refreshment and renewal.

So I'm thinking it's time to find me some chocolate, a good book, and a cozy bed in a quiet room. I'm wondering how other ladies cope when they feel moody and grumpy. Please share...

Mirror Image

2010-11-14T22:38:00.001-06:00

I think I scared my oldest son this weekend. We were at my in-laws house. Ryan was standing at entrance to grandma's living room, and I mistook him for my husband. He's as tall as his dad, and he looks and acts a lot like him. I walked up beside him, slipped my arm around his waist, and started to lay my head on his shoulder when I realized my mistake. Ryan looked at me kinda funny. I told him he was just lucky I hadn't kissed him.

When I was thinking about this incident I realized that God calls us as his children to look like him. Romans 8:29 says, "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers." There is a sense of pride a parent experiences when their children grow up and look like them. I like to hear people say, "She's just like her mama."

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." (2 Cor. 3:18) I am a reflection of Jesus. In order to have a good reflection, I must remain close to him. I don't want to be a dim reflection. People should see Jesus clearly in my life.

I wonder if God has a sense of pride when he looks at me. Does he say, "She looks like one of my children?" Is his son, Jesus, reflected in the mirror of my life?

A Work in Progress

2010-11-10T20:09:00.002-06:00

I knew so much when I was 18. The world was before me, and I thought I had the answers. Now 20 years later I find there so much I don't know. I have much to learn.

This year has been full of contemplation for me. My heart yearns for God's Word. However, it painfully reveals to me more about who I truly am. Peter says in reference to trials in I Peter 1:7, "These have come so that your faith -- of greater worth then gold, which perishes even though refined by fire -- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." It has been life's challenges that have humbled me enough to realize my great need for God's wisdom and strength.

I never thought of myself as a prideful person, but I am. I think, "My children will never do that." Why not? Because it would embarrass me. I find I'm more concerned about how their behavior reflects on me, then on their well-being.

I truly thought I had it within me to love another child as my own. When we adopted three children, I knew I could do it. I've had to humble myself before God and tell him I'm helpless on my own. I need his help and strength to truly love. This was difficult for me to do. God has been faithful, and he is teaching me about true love. But I had to let go of my pride first and recognize my need of Him.

Proverbs 16:18 says, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." I'm just grateful that when I fall it can be before a loving Savior who gently picks me up. He reminds me, "It's not about you." Then He continues His work in my life that it might bring praise, glory, and honor to Him -- the one who is truly worthy of all praise, glory, and honor.

Weary and Tired?

2010-10-05T11:31:00.001-05:00

Just need a moment to vent a little. Do you ever have one of those days where things just go wrong? It seemed ironic that on a day when a friend posts an article I wrote on parenting and teaching through example, that I can't seem to get it together.

I'm hit first thing this morning with questions like, "Where is my sweatshirt? I don't have any jeans left in my drawer. Are there any clean?" We had an extremely busy weekend and everything was left undone. I haven't caught up yet, and the kids seemed to take it for granted that these things would just be done.

Then in school, there was an unbelievable amount of impatience and selfishness. Everyone seemed to think their needs were more important then the next persons. I was frustrated and impatient myself after multiple interruptions. I even lost my temper at one point.

I think it all really started when I got up this morning and found out my husband was going to be gone at breakfast and lunch and then was thinking of taking one of the boys out fishing later in the day. It frustrated me because I wanted him here. I wanted some help. In reality, I was pretty much pouting because I was just thinking about me my needs. Guess my kids are a whole lot like their mother.

By mid-morning I felt like giving up. I was an utter failure as a parent. Then for school one of the boys read these words from Gal. 6:9, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Those words spoke to my heart.

Yep, we sure enough had a bad morning. But I will not give up. The past is behind. I will persevere. I admit my selfishness before my heavenly Father asking his forgiveness and seeking his continued work in my life. I will not let weariness get the best of me today. At the proper time, there will be a harvest. My farm just needed a little weeding this morning.

Lessons learned through loving my man

2010-09-10T14:33:00.000-05:00

I remember the day I was married like it was yesterday. I was just 19 going on 20. There were stars in my eyes, and I couldn't ever imagine not loving that wonderful man who had stolen my heart. Dressed in my white gown, walking down the aisle at the church, I was sure nothing would ever come between us. It was easy to exchange those vows: "for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health."
It's been a little over 18 years now for us. There have been challenges that we've faced. There have been days that I didn't feel "in love." I have learned there are times when love is a choice, not just a feeling. The good news is that as we have weathered the storms of life together, our love has become stronger.
In this world today I am surrounded by a culture that says marriage is disposable. When my mate no longer meets my needs, I can walk out the door. After all I deserve to be happy. However, this is not God's way. It is not my spouse who is responsible for my happiness. My happiness is a matter between God and I. God is enough for me if I let Him be. God has had to teach me this lesson over and over though. I often find myself expecting others or my spouse to make me happy. This happiness is only a temporary feeling. It is not the deep satisfying happiness that comes from obedience to God.

Last night Les and I enjoyed our "date night". As I looked into his eyes across the table, it didn't hold the same "in love" feeling of 18 years ago. It was something more then a giddy emotion. Now I look at him and I respect the man he has proven himself to be. I appreciate the way he provides for the children and I. I admire his leadership abilities and his love for God and those around him. I cherish the little things he still does for me. And sometimes I have a hard time believing he puts up with me. The years we have spent together has given me the opportunity to learn these things about him. If I had walked out the door whenever there was not that "in love" feeling, I would have missed out on so much.

My Dreamer

2010-08-29T15:34:00.000-05:00

My dear boy, Alex,
I had no idea I was pregnant when I found out we were expecting you. I was having some other health issues and went to the Dr. to get some help. I remember talking to the Dr. for some time. He had left the room, but came back in and said, "Congratulations! You're pregnant." Wow, I didn't even have any idea how far along I was. The dr. did a sonogram so we would know. It was then that we discovered I had a large ovarian cyst that was causing my health issues. It was the size of an orange. The dr. explained that he couldn't operate on the cyst until I reached 14 weeks in the pregnancy. I was only at 7 weeks. There was a great chance that the cyst would burst and that I would miscarry. We could only pray that everything would turn out for the best.

I went back to the dr. four weeks later. I had been extremely sick. I was so nauseated. I couldn't eat much of anything. Grandma had even had to come and help me out for a week. The good news was you were still there and growing. The bad news was that the cyst was now the size of a grapefruit. They scheduled my next appointment for 13 weeks, so they could could get the operation done as soon as it was safe. How we prayed! Two weeks later I went to the doctor, and they could find no sign of the cyst. God had answered our prayers. No surgery was necessary.

Our elation was soon turned to devastation as a week later I began to bleed heavily. I cried and cried. I just knew we had lost you. The dr. did another sonogram, but you were still there and still growing. We never knew exactly what caused the bleeding. But God was keeping you safe.

Today's the day twelve years ago that I held you in my arms for the first time. What tears of joy! You were finally here safe and healthy. Your eyes were so alert as you looked up into my face. I wondered what God had in store for you. It seemed you were already thinking and dreaming of the future.

Now I look at the young man you are becoming, and I'm proud of you. You definitely are a dreamer. You dream of doing big things for God. You long for heaven. Your heart strives for perfection.

Keep dreaming my boy. God kept you for this earth for a reason. He has plans for you. And one day, you'll be in heaven and the perfection that seems out of your grasp will be yours. You will be made perfect through Christ.

Happy Birthday!
Love,
Mom

The Beach

2010-08-28T18:41:00.001-05:00

Laughter floats across the waves.
Minnows tickle my legs
As the sand squishes through my toes.

The sun warms the top of my head.
I watch two children creep up on the darting fish.
Their eager hands grasp at the elusive shadows.

Water sprays me suddenly.
Two boys and their father boisterously dash past in the shallow water.
Hand fulls of sand are being stashed down the backs of swim trunks.

Further from shore three more children wrestle around,
Dragging one another,
Splashing and dunking,
Enjoying life and laughter.

Blessing envelopes me,
Holds me in its warm embrace.
My Creator's love enfolds me
As I'm surrounded by my family and all He has made.

Psalm 106:1
"Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; His love endures forever."

Reasons for Love

2010-08-12T09:14:00.001-05:00

I ran across a little note in the dining room last week when I was cleaning. I had left it in a pile of papers after Mother's Day. It was written by my 11 year old son, Alex.

Reasons why I love my Mom
Reason #1 - she never puts me down
Reason #2 - she feeds me three times a day
Reason #3 - she shows me her love
Reason #4 - she takes me on vacations
Reason #5 - she cares for my comfort
Reason #6 - she cleans the house
Reason #7 - she disciplines me
Reason #8 - she works hard

As I looked over the list this morning, I realized all the little things I do really matter. Reason #7 made me laugh. In the midst of discipline, I've never had a child thank me, but I guess in the long run they really do believe me that I do it because I love them. I know Alex worked hard on this list, so I thought maybe I should make my own just for my children.

Reasons why I love my children
Reason #1 - You are God's gift to me
Reason #2 - God has a purpose for your life, and I enjoy watching his work unfold
Reason #3 - Each of you are a unique treasure waiting to be discovered
Reason #4 - You make me laugh
Reason #5 - I love your hugs and goodnight kisses
Reason #6 - It is a joy and blessing watching you grow and change
Reason #7 - You teach me to rely on Jesus for strength
Reason #8 - You are the result of the love Dad and I have for each other

I'm gonna win!

2010-07-29T21:25:00.000-05:00

Heb 12:1-3
1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (NIV)

I never was very good at racing. I'm not sure I ever felt the joy of victory when I was running. I was always just thankful I wasn't the last one to finish.

No one really likes to lose a race. I remember racing Amber one time. She was folding washclothes and I was making supper. We were racing to see who would get done first. She was folding like crazy and was going to beat me, but I was still teasing her and telling her I was going to win. She became fearful she would lose, so she said, "Mom, I might not be racing." I asked her why. She replied, "Well, if I win, then I'm racing, but if you beat me than I wasn't racing."

I'm am so grateful to God that we as Christians are running a race that we already know the who the winner is. Romans 8:37 tells us that "we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." We will be victorious because Christ has won the victory over death.

The difficult part of this race comes in the persevering. Some days are harder than others. Sometimes we just don't feel like we're winning. The key is to keep our focus where it belongs. Heb. 12:2 tells us to "fix our eyes on Jesus." It's always easier to keep running if we keep our eyes on the goal--the goal of one day being with Jesus face to face. There will be nothing like it.

As Christians we are already winners. We just need to keep our eyes on Jesus and keep on running. Now that's a race I can keep on running because I'm gonna win!